My first-hand experience of living in the capital -New Delhi

Delhi rape case may be a trigger point but it’s not a stray incident as how a top Delhi cop has put it.

This horrific incident brought back memories of my 3 year stint at New Delhi 12 years back. Nothing seems to have changed rather it has gotten from worse to worst. Staying at New Delhi, changed my way of perceiving, it instilled in me a fear, a sense of insecurity.

I had a nonchalant attitude all the years while growing up till I landed in New Delhi and stayed there.  Anyway, life in Chandigarh had been much protected and we didn’t have cell phones while growing up but Chandigarh has always appeared to be a safe haven vis-à-vis Delhi. At Chandigarh, I hardly prefer an afternoon show; mostly go for evening shows with my folks even till today. We never felt insecure walking in the park or going out at night but this was many years back. I have a good set of friends and we always felt free and happy to venture out anywhere. But Delhi changed me…

  I stayed in the heart of Delhi at YWCA for 3 years, it has two police stations, a historic gurdwara, a church and the world famous Jantar Mantar, Parliament house in its vicinity. I recall not one but many incidents in the past which narrowed my perspective and curbed my sense of freedom.

First Lesson: I was in my last year of teens and like many others, had been preparing to stand on my own feet. A month into my stay at YWCA, I made few hostel friends and one day all girls gang decided to go for a movie show at night. We asked another friend to buy the tickets for us and to wait for us at Regal theatre in CP. We kept waiting for a while but didn’t manage to get an auto to ferry us. A Delhi roadways bus stopped near us and I being the youngest and so new to Delhi life, just hopped on. I had just landed on the foot board when one of my friends literally dragged me back. By the time I got my balance back and stood there figuring out what exactly happened, all the other 4 girls charged at me in anger and at my foolishness. Still, nonplussed at their reaction, I mustered the courage to ask them “What’s wrong?” The mightiest of the group controlled her seething anger and then gave me gyaan on the perils of being a girl. She told me that the bus had only a driver and a conductor and what if the bus had sped fast with me onboard and misbehaved. She thought of using the word ‘rape’ as blasphemous and opted for ‘misbehave’. So, I was told that never ever get on to a bus alone in New Delhi before dawn or after dusk or rather ever, if you are unescorted or in a big group. But the Delhi rape case makes me wonder' Did having an escort while using a public transport help that victim at all? So, to this day, I detest boarding a bus and have learnt to rely on other forms of transport.

Second Lesson: One day I planned to go to shopping at CP and on my way back, it was around 6.30 pm. Since, I used to love walking in those days and it was beginning of winters, I thought of walking back to the hostel from the outer circle near the Hanuman temple as it wasn’t really far from my hostel. I had walked half the distance and I could feel many prying eyes on me. First time in my life, I felt scared and it was more at the thought of being robbed of my cash rather than dignity. Few more steps, I was in front of the police station near the gurdwara and a red maruti car halted parallel to me and the guy inside seemingly older than my father, rolled down the window and asked me if I needed a lift. Without responding to him, I just kept walking and pretended to head to gurdwara. After being visibly satisfied that the car had turned away, I decided to step forward to hostel entrance gate as the gurdwara and YWCA share the boundary wall. Those another 2 minutes meant more catcalls by beggars, street hawkers till I safely disappeared behind the confines of hostel walls. That day many men on that street were staring at me, passing snide remarks and if I had shown my fear visible on my face or in my body language, I would have been in deep shit. But a religious place, a police station and a prominent working women hostel assured no guarantee of a safe walk. How disgusting and stupid I felt walking alone? Again my hostel friends were using all sorts of adjectives for walking down alone. Imagine, there were no guards to deter those men except for our hostel guard, whose prime job was to just ensure that all girls were safe inside the hostel wall but outside no one gave a damn. After that day, I never ever walked on any street at any point of time. Even during day time, walking on any street near Janpath or anywhere in Delhi meant using elbows or safety pins or punches to protect self from being brushed past. I almost felt like a Ninja soldier at times. Today, I think I was just lucky. Later during my 3 year stint, we used to hear so many instances like girls being eve-teased or molested or brushed past while they were on their way to pay obeisance at Gurdwara or just standing right outside hostel gate. The authorities paid no heed and rather advised girls to be careful. The lesson I learnt – Don’t walk on street..

Even to this day, having returned to Chandigarh now, I just don’t want to walk alone at any time of the day, even if it means jogging in neighborhood park, I know I would fight back but I don’t want to get in that uncomfortable situation. There are rampant protests happening in the country on Delhi rape case and demand for death penalty and more police patrolling. But, I do not have faith. There have been many cases where either policemen themselves are perpetrators of crime or become accomplice by not helping the victim or the policemen are not equipped enough to help the victim.

My heart goes out to the girl who lost her brave-heart father, who incidentally was a cop and was trying to protect his daughter from the beasts. Even, in Delhi rape case, the girl was indeed accompanied by a male escort but it’s not a Salman Khan movie where the hero would successfully defend his sister, mother or daughter.

We need to stand united for this cause.Chemical castration and torture till death should be the punishment for the rapists. Girls should be given self defense training right from elementary schools. Pepper sprays should be given to girls and CCTV, cameras etc should be put across all possible nooks and corners, public transports and fast track courts should be set up with female judges and female cops.

In the end, I would like to pray for the victim who is battling for her life. She is a hero and has a long battle ahead of her.

The lost world of forgotten gadgets

Heard an old number on FM today:

Buggles popular hit - Video Killed The Radio Star:

In my mind and in my car,
We can't rewind we've gone too far,
Pictures came and broke your heart,
Video killed the radio star.
.
This got me thinking and hence this blog:

My 5 year old niece went to the attic and came back with a dusty walkman in her hand. She asked me what it was? My answer was a walkman. She asked me which cd plays in it and how does it play? I first had to explain her that it was a cassette that played in it and not a cd but didnt have any cassette in the house to show her or show her that how the gadget operated? So, i took her to the downtown market and we stepped inside a popular music store. I went around the entire store but couldnt find cassettes displayed anywhere. Then went to the counter and my mere query raised eyeballs as well as smirks from the cashier as well as customers standing next to me. I went to several other music stores and got a similar response. I felt as if i had arisen from a deep slumber after 15 years. There are no more cassettes available in the music stores. Similarly, perhaps she will see vcr, lp players etc only in some antique shop or museum in the years to come.

Even, though 90's saw computer revolution but even before the advent of this decade and century, floppies became obsolete and were replaced by USB's and hard drives.
But, the nostalgia over these gadgets is fast replaced by the new marvels of technology.

I have started collecting all the memorablia for future generation to see and marvel when they grow up. Maybe when my niece grows up, she will cherish these antiques which I am storing.

Fundamental Right To live Freely!!

Its almost 2 in the night and i cant seem to manage any sleep. So, thought of penning down rather typing my thoughts.

Today, i saw a polish movie - "Your name is Justine", it was such a heart wrenching story about a polish girl conned by her German boyfriend and thrown into the dark world of prostitution for Internet porn. What really moved me was her desperation to be free again and her strong desire to return back to her country, to her grandmother. Poor girl is sexually assaulted, kept without food for days and threatened to comply and agree to her captors commands. There was a scene where she opens the refrigerator and finds nothing except a stale fungi infested slice of bread. She is so hungry that she eats it. In another scene she wants to escape and she simply cant as she doesn't have the energy left to jump off a window.

Of course in the end she ends up killing the guy who conned her and is later released after 3 years in prison and is back to her own country but it was too much of innocence lost. She thinks aloud and asks a question that in life where was the justice met and will her life ever be the same again?

As soon as i finished with this movie, while surfing channels, i came across the onscreen adaptation of A kite runner. I remember crying silently when i had read this book. Though by the time i started viewing the movie it was almost the end of it. But again the by lanes of Afghanistan, the poverty, the misery and the Taliban rule was overbearing to watch. I felt so bad for the young boy sohrab, who is orphaned and abused by his captors. In one scene, he tells his uncle that he is glad that he is an orphan since he doesn't want to face his parents as he is dirty. Again, it wasn't sohrab's fault.

I remember having sleepless nights in US, after having read A fine balance by Rohinton Mistry. Again similar misery with different characters and different setup. I know it is very fresh in my thoughts and i feel the pain and simply many who will read this or watch those movies, will shrug it as a movie or perhaps like me forget it in the mundane routine of work. But, the big question is where we are heading as a society? The news are buzz with plight of baby falak but isn't it our responsibility to give a secure future to our next generation. Technology has been indeed a boon but not a week passes where something really wrong happens to the kids,teens.Whether its teenage Adnan killed by his friends after having seen the news or another case of some MMS video being made.

Imagine, being put in a cage and not being able to move freely. We all claim that we are citizens of a free country but is this freedom? There is so much insecurity, so much of crime. I know perpetrators of crime will not cease but what we can do is generate awareness and help the victims to start afresh.

Right to Live and Freedom is after all a fundamental right, given by God and not by any court or constitution.