Delhi rape case may be a trigger point but it’s not a stray incident as how a top Delhi cop has put it.
This horrific incident brought back memories of my 3 year stint at New Delhi 12 years back. Nothing seems to have changed rather it has gotten from worse to worst.
Staying at New Delhi, changed my way of perceiving, it instilled in me a fear, a sense of insecurity.
I had a nonchalant attitude all the years while growing up till I landed in New Delhi and stayed there. Anyway, life in Chandigarh had been much protected and we didn’t have cell phones while growing up but Chandigarh has always appeared to be a safe haven vis-à-vis Delhi. At Chandigarh, I hardly prefer an afternoon show; mostly go for evening shows with my folks even till today. We never felt insecure walking in the park or going out at night but this was many years back. I have a good set of friends and we always felt free and happy to venture out anywhere. But Delhi changed me…
I stayed in the heart of Delhi at YWCA for 3 years, it has two police stations, a historic gurdwara, a church and the world famous Jantar Mantar, Parliament house in its vicinity. I recall not one but many incidents in the past which narrowed my perspective and curbed my sense of freedom.
First Lesson: I was in my last year of teens and like many others, had been preparing to stand on my own feet. A month into my stay at YWCA, I made few hostel friends and one day all girls gang decided to go for a movie show at night. We asked another friend to buy the tickets for us and to wait for us at Regal theatre in CP. We kept waiting for a while but didn’t manage to get an auto to ferry us. A Delhi roadways bus stopped near us and I being the youngest and so new to Delhi life, just hopped on. I had just landed on the foot board when one of my friends literally dragged me back. By the time I got my balance back and stood there figuring out what exactly happened, all the other 4 girls charged at me in anger and at my foolishness. Still, nonplussed at their reaction, I mustered the courage to ask them “What’s wrong?” The mightiest of the group controlled her seething anger and then gave me gyaan on the perils of being a girl. She told me that the bus had only a driver and a conductor and what if the bus had sped fast with me onboard and misbehaved. She thought of using the word ‘rape’ as blasphemous and opted for ‘misbehave’. So, I was told that never ever get on to a bus alone in New Delhi before dawn or after dusk or rather ever, if you are unescorted or in a big group. But the Delhi rape case makes me wonder' Did having an escort while using a public transport help that victim at all? So, to this day, I detest boarding a bus and have learnt to rely on other forms of transport.
Second Lesson: One day I planned to go to shopping at CP and on my way back, it was around 6.30 pm. Since, I used to love walking in those days and it was beginning of winters, I thought of walking back to the hostel from the outer circle near the Hanuman temple as it wasn’t really far from my hostel. I had walked half the distance and I could feel many prying eyes on me. First time in my life, I felt scared and it was more at the thought of being robbed of my cash rather than dignity. Few more steps, I was in front of the police station near the gurdwara and a red maruti car halted parallel to me and the guy inside seemingly older than my father, rolled down the window and asked me if I needed a lift. Without responding to him, I just kept walking and pretended to head to gurdwara. After being visibly satisfied that the car had turned away, I decided to step forward to hostel entrance gate as the gurdwara and YWCA share the boundary wall. Those another 2 minutes meant more catcalls by beggars, street hawkers till I safely disappeared behind the confines of hostel walls. That day many men on that street were staring at me, passing snide remarks and if I had shown my fear visible on my face or in my body language, I would have been in deep shit. But a religious place, a police station and a prominent working women hostel assured no guarantee of a safe walk. How disgusting and stupid I felt walking alone? Again my hostel friends were using all sorts of adjectives for walking down alone. Imagine, there were no guards to deter those men except for our hostel guard, whose prime job was to just ensure that all girls were safe inside the hostel wall but outside no one gave a damn. After that day, I never ever walked on any street at any point of time. Even during day time, walking on any street near Janpath or anywhere in Delhi meant using elbows or safety pins or punches to protect self from being brushed past. I almost felt like a Ninja soldier at times. Today, I think I was just lucky. Later during my 3 year stint, we used to hear so many instances like girls being eve-teased or molested or brushed past while they were on their way to pay obeisance at Gurdwara or just standing right outside hostel gate. The authorities paid no heed and rather advised girls to be careful. The lesson I learnt – Don’t walk on street..
Even to this day, having returned to Chandigarh now, I just don’t want to walk alone at any time of the day, even if it means jogging in neighborhood park, I know I would fight back but I don’t want to get in that uncomfortable situation.
There are rampant protests happening in the country on Delhi rape case and demand for death penalty and more police patrolling. But, I do not have faith. There have been many cases where either policemen themselves are perpetrators of crime or become accomplice by not helping the victim or the policemen are not equipped enough to help the victim.
My heart goes out to the girl who lost her brave-heart father, who incidentally was a cop and was trying to protect his daughter from the beasts. Even, in Delhi rape case, the girl was indeed accompanied by a male escort but it’s not a Salman Khan movie where the hero would successfully defend his sister, mother or daughter.
We need to stand united for this cause.Chemical castration and torture till death should be the punishment for the rapists. Girls should be given self defense training right from elementary schools. Pepper sprays should be given to girls and CCTV, cameras etc should be put across all possible nooks and corners, public transports and fast track courts should be set up with female judges and female cops.
In the end, I would like to pray for the victim who is battling for her life. She is a hero and has a long battle ahead of her.
